Whew

This whole day has been spent in an Altered State of consciousness.  It ended with a party at the home of musician/creative friends, and will begin tomorrow with brunch at a friend's house.
And it still feels, after all this time, so strange not to celebrate the markers of passing time together with my beloved.  I am still  waiting for the other shoe to drop.  There are days that I find myself expecting him to walk in the door, as if returning from a trip.  How could he not be a phone call away from the news of his newest grandson? 
Of course, he probably got the news before I did.
Still, please:  a dream, a sign; something.
Crying.

Good night.  Blessings.