I do not quite know where the day went.
I went out early to water the potted plants before the heat of the day. The garden in the back has gone wild, with native flowers and weeds. I visited with the new neighbor in the back; they can't move in until the remodeling is completed.
A long visit-talk with the lovely person currently sharing space here. We are trying to decide how we want to proceed.
Late afternoon, we hauled the tall ladder and the dark shadecloth canopy out to the back deck, and proceeded to finally hang it on the guy wires , then stretched the smaller one that protects from UVH etc. above it. It is truly a two-person job. Now we should be cool, comfortable and well-protected for the rest of the summer. It's a slightly funky-looking arrangement, but it really works: on the hottest days, the main floor of the house is as cool as if there were air conditioning---completely passively. We open the windows at night, and close them in the morning. The raccoons no longer break in to investigate, and the local bear has already eaten all the bird food in the can with the supposedly fasten-down lid.
I am waking up to the fact that I will be teaching a weekend in late August at the Abode of the Message, in New Lebanon, NY. What I will do has been brewing, but on the very back-most burner of my mind; now I have to call it forward and shape it.
I have been teaching weekends, workshops, etc. since my junior year in college, throughout graduate school, during my years in Israel, and when I returned to Philadelphia. Then there were the years of delight when I taught together with my beloved. Then some years teaching alone again when we moved here to Boulder; but he was here to bounce ideas off of, to give suggestions, to support me when I was concentrating and not cooking...
Now I must both remember what I used to do, and discover anew how and what I would do now, when everything in my life is so different, inside and out.
I find it...everything: exciting, and scary, and sad, and challenging in a good way.
I am always starting off with "What in the world do I know and still have to give that is of any value to anyone else?"
I do not usually get an answer to that. Instead, what comes up is the next question:
"What is drawing me now?"
And I do not entirely know how to answer that either. Yet.
I am entering a new life; nothing is the same.
Asking for blessing.