I don't believe it---I've been kashering for days now and it's still not done. My class arrived to find me still in my apron with the dismantled kitchen a wreck. So much is done, and so much remains.
I am looking around this house which I love, discovering hametz---that which has fermented---everywhere, and am wondering why we need all this stuff. Of course, I am the one who accumulated a good deal of this stuff. (I'm not even talking about the vast library downstairs, and the boxes that still remain of Zalman's papers.) What was I thinking would happen with all this paper, anyway?
I seem to be in a shifting state of mind---appropriate for just-before-leaving-Egypt.
But that other state of mind, that about-to-become-a-nomad state...that is in dissonance with the house itself, furnished with all the things we acquired over the years to assure comfort and smooth function. The line of a song floats up: "I am starry-eyed and slightly discontented..." (from, appropriately enough, "It Might As Well Be Spring".) But I'm also somewhat inarticulate, probably due to the past days of intense and concentrated cleaning, exacerbated by the late hour.
I am literally falling asleep between words. I think the better part of valor would be to close down for the night.
G-d willing, I will return after shabbos.
Blessings; good night.