Thank G-d for Mary, who is helping me unravel the mess resulting from switching banks: all the automatic deposits and deductions must be rearranged, confirmed, etc. Feh.
Otherwise, a sweet day---Farmer's Market, running into friends from out of town staying here in Boulder for a bit.
I remembered, last minute, a shiva minyan in the neighborhood.
I discovered all over again that outside of the very Orthodox community, Americans do not understand the function of a shiva. It devolves into a "normal" social event; the mourner feels constrained to behave as their normal social self, during this very not-normal time.
In some cases, this is truly the state the mourner is in anyway. But in others, the mourner must wait until everybody has finally gone home before letting the social mask drop so they can feel their real feelings.
The guests, for their part, often have no idea how to behave with gravity and sensitivity.
It is not a normal time; for the mourner, the "normal" behaviors can be suspended.
I want to go upstairs now, and flow right into my own evening davvnen, then sleep, then go to early morning minyan.