Last of February

We have had a full, rich day together; and then a meltdown.
Which might smoothe out before trying to go to sleep; or might not.

The Zalman Schachter Shalomi Archives at the university are in good order, and well cared for.
The folks working with it are wonderful, and were generous with their time and expertise.
So much reminder of Zalman---Strange to see items from everywhere along the timeline all at once---an eternal present.
I wonder if that was what drove people in the past to commission portraits to be painted of royal families, etc.:  a certain conquering of time.

But at the end of the day, it has left us each in a tetchy, vulnerable, hypersensitive state.  Each of us wishes to recover something, some scent, some trace of what is truly gone:  the presence of the one we loved.  It makes us jealous of souvenirs, of material things that spark immaterial memories.

It leaves us to go to bed feeling very vulnerable indeed.