I did not realize: that very funny and sweet "talent show" at the conference last night, with only a small portion of us present, was IT. That was the last official event of the conference.
I somehow expected that we would meet for a final shacharit (dawn) service.
In my mind I am already crafting a short and meaningful final ceremony for next year, if they will let me do it.
My oldest stepson (my contemporary) came back here after the Board meeting. Some of his father's books will go to him, and some to other of his siblings. I can feel my own reluctance to let them go---not because I would use them often; but because this body of books evokes the presence of the beloved of my heart, whom I still so deeply miss. Letting them leave the house is saying goodbye all over again.
Of course I will do it.
But I will need to start preparing my heart first, before ever touching a book or packing a box.
I have just returned from bringing him to the airport bus.
Mishka the cat is curled at my right arm by the computer, dozing and purring.
I will now go upstairs and do the same.
I wish us all a good shabbos.