A different day

I can barely remember back to this morning, though not much external "happened" today.
I did make it to the spring, and filled four of the glass 3-gallon bottles.  The town where the spring lives is one of the last funky charming places around, a place where dogs can still walk off-leash; and I have a dread that some council will barge in wanting to "improve" it.

Another treat of the day was an unexpected and very welcome call from an old friend.  It is a great gift to have people still in my life with whom I have shared so many changes-of-phase, whom I have known and who have known me through all our changes.  We recognize each other's essence shining through all the different phases, places, partners, professions. 

I have re-entered that state where I am missing my beloved intensely.  These phases seem to move and change independent of me, at their own rhythm and varying intensity, and I am carried on their tide.  "Resistance is futile".  I allow myself to feel what I feel; and I observe.  There are days or weeks like today when I suddenly burst into tears once I am alone; and others when I do not.  I do not know what determines the rhythm of these tides.  It is no longer my biology.
By now, I only know that everything changes.
Good night.