Last night I had been invited to the home of friends who host a regular gathering/mentoring of a group of lively young women. I had been asked to tell the story of my life. I did; and I found it a little unsettling. Where were the chapter headings? What shape had my life really taken? Have I yet made any sense of it? Here I am, supposed to be an Elder, and supposed to have figured these things out. The one thing that stood out starkly was that the dearest people to me, the ones I have loved with all my heart, are gone. (I did not talk about that.)
Today was quiet, slow...
I took a walk on a path in the neighborhood that I was sure ended at a street that I knew.
Wrong...I finally followed a small path off the Open Space that actually led down the edge of a private driveway. Oops. I skulked off to the steet apologizing all the way to their barking dog...
With some help from local workmen, I did find my way home.
This was absurd: I got lost in a neighborhood seven minutes from the house I have lived in for eighteen years. How embarrassing to see how rooted in habit I have become: I walk on Shanahan Ridge in the Open Space; I walk by Viele Lake. What about all the other places to walk in my neighborhood? Or adjacent neighborhoods? Or far-off neighborhoods?
On this restful shabbos I read the sedrah---Noach---and contemplated what might happen to our world in this next example of all overt power falling to the greedy and the corrupt.
Then I decided it was shabbos, and I had to leave the whole mess in the lap of the Ribono shel Olam for now.
After havdalah, I opened the laptop and paid my dues for a day of rest by signing petitions, writing letters to politicians, and reading the current reports of current corruption.
MIshka the Cat update: she will hide for hours. She will find my lap if I sit to read in my beloved's recliner chair. She will find her way onto my desk when I am at the computer and snuggle herself into that space by my right arm along the laptop side, napping and lightly purring. Or, as she is engaged in doing now, giving herself a bath.
I am going upstairs to sleep now.
She may or may not come with.