It has been one of those days with everything turnd upside-down.
Weeded early. Took the new bat mitzvah of a Chabad family here on a shopping trip as a gift.
Picked up wood-chip mulch and a few more veggie starts at a garden way out north of the city (a magical place) and then sweated weeding and spreading the mulch, and planting.
Inside the house---another story. Poor Bracha is now pooping (diarrhea) in inappropriate places very regularly, so I do reconnaissance and cleanup several times a day. Yuck. But today, at least Mazal did not spray on the washer. ("O frabjous day, calloo, callay...")
Oy, and then hours of going through and writing and signing and deleting emails.
They all say different versions of the same thing: everything's a mess, and it's all falling apart in various creative ways. Sign this and send money.
SOME good must come eventually from reconstituting it all.
It is the right time for Tisha B'Av tomorrow night; for fasting and conducting examination of soul, of actions and failures to act, of ideals and motivations and the extent to which we manage to embody those ideals. If we remember them.
It is the right time for us to remember what we've been told: that the Temple was destroyed because of "causeless hatred".
My beloved would remind us, each year, that the healing and the antidote to that, both then and now, is "causeless love."
I do not know if I may spend the entire night in shul. I may write, or may wait until Tuesday night, after we break the fast and Tisha B'Av is over.
May you who fast be led to clarity and depth and discovery.
And to T'shuva, which my father used to translate as "a revolution of the soul."