I can feel shifts and changes in the air.
Something is opening.
I am feeling a delight in the days, in the backyard jungle, in friends, in new reading, in contemplating teaching again, both at the Abode of the Message in August and elsewhere in the winter. I hear the creaking of a rusty wheel as things turn and move and change.
I am indeed rusty---but still here.
I feel open and full of trepidation at the same time. Then again---trepidation and excitement feel very similar.
Most of all I feel grateful---for the richness of my life until now; for the natural healing which does come in time; for some time ahead of me in which to fulfill parts of me that have had to wait.
(I am beginning to muse and plan another concert: "And It Was Evening and It Was Morning".)
And I am so grateful for having loved and been loved, for having given and received so much, for all the good guesses and the terrible mistakes that have shaped who I am now, for forgiveness and gifts of redemption.
This is a wonderful richness to take into my beloved's yahrzeit, which begins tomorrow night.