"It's always like this...I worry and wonder..."
(as the song goes.)
The subject of my worry is whether the items I choose to pack will be the ones needed;
and whether I will get a decent night's sleep, since, besides the last-minute-itis, there is the adrenalin of excitement before a trip.
The lovely woman who will be housesitting has begun to settle in, and will enjoy the house. The cats seem to like her too. The owner of the local pet supply store gave me an old but very functional cat-stair so that Mazal can reach the bed when she chooses, without needing me to lift her onto it. Like me, she is getting older and has a harder time leaping. Bracha, on the other hand, even though she is quite ill and terribly skinny, still leaps up to the place where I serve them cat meals.
She still believes that at human mealtime, her proper place is upon the table sharing whatever we are eating. My beloved used to say "No, cat," and then give her a morsel. I suspect she understands the phrase to mean "Here, try some of this." She is presently curled up on the little salmon sofa at my side. I think she knows I'm going; she knows what a suitcase means.
I arrive in Connecticut tomorrow at midnight . The blog may be very disrupted for the next days. I don't know if I will get to write tomorrow night. I arrive in Hartford at midnight, followed by a long drive to Isabella Freedman. Tuesday and Wednesday for sure not; Thursday I hope so but who knows. Friday we drive back to Philly and then it's shabbos.
(This is beginning to sound like a bad Yiddish joke.)
What I am thinking about as I prepare: how do we each-individually-while-together hear the Torah/instruction we need for this very time in our lives and the life of our country and the life of the planet? I need to believe that the Word is still coming to us, and that my job is to learn to listen;
and to commit myself that, having once heard, I will follow what I have been told.
It is no small matter.
It is a big deal.
What if what I hear is outrageous? or distasteful? or (cholilah) inconvenient?
¿Do I then say, "Never mind; it was just my imagination/conditioning/neurosis speaking; I don't have to do that"?
The questions are particularly sharp and poignant this year.
May we hear loudly and clearly; and may we have to integrity to follow what we hear.
Sweet dreams, everybody...