I did not succeed in NOT spending hours writing letters, signing petitions, reading catastrophe.
I DID, however, take a long walk in the Open Space this morning, which counted some towards keeping me more or less sane.
The cats help too: Bracha and I keep each other company on the little salmon sofa; I type and she purrs. Mazal makes sure to put me to bed at night.
And I have had delight in planning the first of the series of classes I will be teaching on Jewish home spiritual practices.
I can feel myself trying to reorient to teaching alone again, without the inspiration of Zalman's presence, suggestions, referrals, humor...and just the warmth of his presence as we lived our lives together through the years/the seasons/the holidays/the sabbaths/the days. His presence to his own spiritual life was grounding, and allowed me to more easily enter my own, which was not like his. Each of us lived with a deep desire to connect to the very core and Source of life. He was more practiced and more consistent in his practices than I. Of course, he had already had twenty five years more to invest in it than I have had.
These last years, I have begun to discover what my own most nourishing practices are. Some I have been doing for a long time. Some are the gifts from my teacher Mme. Colette. Some I learned from my mother. Some evolved during my years with Zalman, and some have developed during these last two+ years. Some have been very private, and some shared with you. And some I have avoided when I couldn't bear coming so much alive.
Soon we enter Purim, that holiday full of paradox, contradiction, mystery, foolishness.
And such a whomping good story.
I am curious to see what will unfold in our traditional drama and in the others that are playing themselves out on our national and world stage.