Oy,what a week.
Good stuff, bad stuff.
Work---vague and undefined, but consuming. For slogging through backlog, I require help. I get absorbed, and cannot manage to SORT. Or PITCH. I need an objective outside party, and today (and last week) I had one: compassionately ruthless. I can almost see the wood of my desk. I rather wish I had the desk-equivalent of the Hogwart's Sorting Hat, that would hover over what I should keep and blow what I should not into recycling.
Now and then, in the under-layers, I find things from when Zalman and I were travelling or working or learning together. These discoveries evoke the full range of emotions: laughter, thoughtfulness, wistfulness, tears.
There are still days and nights in which I find myself sobbing from deep in my gut; they are farther apart now. In the beginning I fell to pieces every few hours, for longer.
I am still wishing for Zalman's wisdom and unique, broad, relational mode of perception. I have my own way of seeing things...His was wiser.
I wish us all a good shabbos.