My own fault.
But let me back up...
Early morning minyan---ahhh.
The house is having little fits: a set of lights won't go on, though we've checked and it isn't the bulbs, nor is it the breakers; I can't get the thingies loosened on two of the shower heads that need the water filters changed; and the rotating arm-sprinkler in the higher position in the dishwasher---the one that sprinkles the cups and glasses in the top part---has disengaged itself and I haven't found a way to reattach it, though I have tried. Also the set of keys, including the miserable "clicker" for the car, has disappeared---though it surely must be here somewhere, because I did get home, and the car won't run without it. I have one spare key, and am taking extra good care of it; its clicker part does not work. Obviously I need a good handyman, and also maybe a "finder", who dowses for lost keys.
For the first time, I catered to my slightly-less energy: I went to the spring this morning with just two 3-gallon glass bottles, instead of the whole eight. I can still schlepp them, and still get a full bottle upended into the crock (with the help of a step ladder and a "method".)
I have done a lot of repairing, painting and gerry-rigging in the various places I've lived (Philadelphia, LA, San Francisco, rural Alaska, Israel, here) but I've not learned enough to deal with electrical wiring. My beloved had a Mad Scientist subpersonality,and I'm sure he could have fixed all these small things, although they might have ended up looking funny.
Meanwhile, all I could do is clean up the detritus of the past week. I hope I can find the right help for the stuff I can't do.
This evening was the special event at the university sponsored by the Jewish Studies department, on Judaism and the body; well done----followed by a dinner at the Dushanbe Tea House for presenters and honored guests. I am overfull.
In this semi-somnolent state, though, I look at the Jewish traditions of Eastern Europe, and see the results of ghettos: a divorce from the land, which leads to a divorce from Nature, and then from the body. The void was traditionally filled by Torah study---and also by mysticism, which bursts all barriers.
Oy, I see that I am wandering. I am overfed and tired, a combination that does not incline to clarity and articulate expression.
I wish us all a sweet and nourishing shabbos, with all the blessings we need.
When we light our havdalah candles, may we find our country in slightly better shape than it was in when we lit our shabbos candles.
My own fault.