The month of taking account of one's soul.
It started for real for me early this evening, when I had the first of what I think of as "the Elul conversations": the ones in which we request---and give---each other forgiveness, and try to unravel/understand what went wrong and how we can fix it.
As you can imagine, for some of us, this month of preparation for the High Holy Days is both welcomed and dreaded. Sometimes I experience anticipatory dread of what I might find; sometimes, I dread my inability to make the necessary repairs.
Tonight's Elul conversation, with someone I love very much, was not easy, and is not complete; but it has started the work of the season with deep and strong intent, because we both care about each other and about the relationship.
Earlier in the day, I visited with a dear friend, a true Elder. Together we watched the performance of "The Nitty Gritty Death Songs". She urged me to make a dvd of it, and make it available---where? She is thinking of hospice. I'm not so sure. This goes into the hopper to ferment; and meanwhile, I will inquire how to make a dvd.
Today was the last day of the three-day Boulder Creek Festival, and though I had planned to go, I ended up with no desire to mingle with crowds of people. Elul has its own power of herding us into a state of introspection---And so I am ending this (relatively) early, and going upstairs.
I wish us all vivid dreams.